Category: It’s a Love Thing

My Black Book is an online application used to keep track of your sexual adventures. If you at that point where a) you can’t remember them in your head or b) a notebook and golf pencil will no longer suffice then perhaps you are part of an elite clan of cool kids than does not include your narrator. I’m guessing you’re also the segment of the population that would make good use of the Graphing and Report Generating features.

To which I throw up my hands in outrage. What no Powerpoint? How am I supposed to prep my advisory board at the weekly meeting?

And while were at it, I’m a bit disappointed that I can’t generate a bound Annual Nookie Report to distribute to staff and shareholders complete with Executive Bios and SEC Filings. And before you snicker  about "penetration in the marketplace," stop. My second-grader sense of humor beat you to it.

I’m going to propose a future edition of this program called Our Black Book for cats like me in serious relationships. Sure, you’ll be able to record all your amorous encounters but they’ll be a whole section dedicated to optimal snuggling positions, fabulous meals you’ve shared and pictures of gifts your mate has given you which you don’t understand but love anyway because it came from the one you love.

Said book would deadly boring and painful to anyone but you and your partner but to the two of you, it could put the "Our 3rd and 3/4 Anniversary" scrapbooking industry right out of business. Now that’s the kind of nookie niche marketing my shareholders can get behind.

Behind? Oh, stop it now! (via Buzzfeed)

"These are the dreams that we dream. These are big and special things.
These are days, of rain and shine. You and me. And I feel fine."

—The Bodeans

“So bless you. You’ve done an amazing thing. And you are loved; you are capable of lives of great joy and meaning. It’s what you are made of. And it’s what you are here for.”

—Anne Lamott

This really isn’t the kind of item you want to get from your mom but the University of Michigan, not where I went to school but whose shadow I grew up in, has launched Wolverine Singles.com a dating service “for UMICH students, faculty, staffs, parents and alumni singles”

Makes perfect sense to me. Most prestigious colleges, even athletic powerhouses like Michigan are stacked floor to ceiling with nerds. Nerds (myself included) often come into their sexual own in college. So naturally, when (re)entering the dating world, one would love to be in the mindset of when getting laid was as easy as “could I borrow your chemistry notes?” followed by oral sex on a twin bed.

The hanging question then is will the University use the positive results of this service as a fund raising effort? If so, how will they spin it? I vote for this way…

“You got a hummer, give us a political science chair.”

I turned 33 years old and had the rockinest birthday ever. Yay!

The Loveline Archive, simple but oh so dangerous. I’ve been a Loveline listener since before they went national in the early 90s. It was summertime, I was 19, working 100 hours a week as a grunt at Warner Bros. Studios in L.A., lonely and very sad. Loveline and a long drive home were my only friends.

When Adam Carolla left Loveline this January to head up his own morning show, I figured my history with the program was over (Adam was pretty much why I listened). In mourning, I went over to their page on Wikipedia and found this. Oy lord, just pump it into my veins.

Now before we get huffy at the giant copyright violation that makes this thing happen, Westwood One, who produces and distributes Loveline has done a horrible job promoting this program. Until maybe 2 years ago, there was no website for the show. They still don’t have an online list of affiliates so good luck if you move and still want to listen. Old shows vanish into the ether even though Westwood would made a mint by release an occasional Best of Loveline CD. They shoulld thanking these people all over the place.

“Divinity must live within herself:
Passions of rain, or moods in falling snow;
Grievings in loneliness, or unsubdued
Elations when the forest blooms; gusty
Emotions on wet roads on autumn nights;
All pleasures and all pains, remembering
The bough of summer and the winter branch.”

—Wallace Stevens

Wherein we discuss why life is like a giant boulder right now.

MP3 File

Only fair.

Community Voice Mail is a free service where low-income people can have a constant phone number that connects to a voicemail box where they receive message from perspective employers, social services, and also maintain their communication ties to the rest of the world. They claim to have distributed 38,850 free phone numbers to survivors of Hurricane Katrina (via Evhead).