Hear ye, hear ye:
So my youngest brother, Daniel Smokler, is getting married this weekend and Suzan and I leave for New Haven Friday morning. Sunday morning at the ceremony, I’m slated to give a toast as the brother of the groom.
I’m kinda freaked out. Most wedding toasts I’ve heard are tittering anecdotes about something embarrasing the groom/bride did in younger years or a few sacchrine lines of sentiment reheated to sounds genuine. I want to make mine special. And I’m the writer in the family, which means expectations are high.
Daniel isn’t the least bit interested in me telling stories about his childhood or snarking at him and Beth from the microphone. Also, I have a tendency to tear up at inopportune times so laying it on too thick will make me cry before everyone else.
Here’s what I’m thinking…Daniel and I have a much stronger relationship now than we did as children. I had left the house by the time of his adolesence so I wasn’t around to see him grow up. Oddly then, we have a greater appreciation for each other as men than as boys. So I’m going to try to string together a few thoughts on how, despite what we remember as children, how proud I am at the man Daniel has become.
I hope Beth doesn’t mind.
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8 Replies to “Hear ye, hear ye:”
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That sounds like a good way to toast. I’ve had to do the Best Man toast a couple times (once for my brother, once for a childhood friend). I offer the following common-sense guidelines:
(1) Don’t overdo the drama: like you say, you don’t want to start bawling halfway through. Mention one or two things that are lighthearted. For my bro’s, I tossed in one comment about how he pushed me through a plate glass window when we were kids to lighten things up for a moment, and that was enough to keep the wallowing to a minimum.
(2) Recognize the sanctity of the occasion: By the same token, you don’t want to overdo the lightheartedness or make anyone uncomfortable. That means no anecdotes that make the bride or groom look bad. You want the focus of the toast to be on the couple, their love, and particularly her place (or his, if you’re from the bride’s side) as a welcome member of the family and an integral part of Daniel’s life.
(3) Keep it short: Anything longer than a couple minutes and it sounds like you’re rambling.
So, in summary: keep it happy, keep it kind, and keep it short.
That sounds like a good way to toast. I’ve had to do the Best Man toast a couple times (once for my brother, once for a childhood friend). I offer the following common-sense guidelines:
(1) Don’t overdo the drama: like you say, you don’t want to start bawling halfway through. Mention one or two things that are lighthearted. For my bro’s, I tossed in one comment about how he pushed me through a plate glass window when we were kids to lighten things up for a moment, and that was enough to keep the wallowing to a minimum.
(2) Recognize the sanctity of the occasion: By the same token, you don’t want to overdo the lightheartedness or make anyone uncomfortable. That means no anecdotes that make the bride or groom look bad. You want the focus of the toast to be on the couple, their love, and particularly her place (or his, if you’re from the bride’s side) as a welcome member of the family and an integral part of Daniel’s life.
(3) Keep it short: Anything longer than a couple minutes and it sounds like you’re rambling.
So, in summary: keep it happy, keep it kind, and keep it short.
Thanks Jer. That all sounds like good feedback.
Thanks Jer. That all sounds like good feedback.
So how’d the toast go?
So how’d the toast go?
From where I sat it was a beautiful thing.
From where I sat it was a beautiful thing.