Kvetching…
Heeb Magazine has this feature called Urban Kvetch, artfully deployed complaining on a variety of mundane topics. An example…
Two Dimes and a Nickel
The ice cream comes out to $4.50. I give you a five and you give me a quarter, two dimes and a nickel. Are you rationing for some pinball war I should know about? You’ve got plenty of quarters left in the register. It’s common fucking courtesy. If you don’t want to give me two quarters, then change the price to $4.75 or something. I don’t want to deal with your issues when I’ve got laundry to do. Seriously, I’m wearing bathing suits as underwear for chrissakes.
JOSHUA NEUMAN
I was inspired to try one of my own
Your friend’s band
We’ve had a tasty meal, a few glasses of wine. I will be trying to kiss you in the cab. So I’d rather remove my appendix with a railroad spike than head to Club Sticky Floor to hear your friend’s band. No, they don’t “sound just like Arcade Fire” and yes, that jerk from the Weekly knew exactly what he was talking about. You even think they suck. And “you’re friend?” You’ve already slept with him or plan to come last call. We’re only here because you think I won’t try anything naughty while getting elbowed by that guy in the ironic “Alf” T-Shirt.
So please, could you leave me to my couch and ABBA:Gold? Then we’ll both get what we want
eh?