Kevin and Dave Yap About the Oscars:

Since we are way behind on our next episode of Talking Pictures, Dave and I did an ichat session about last night’s Oscars. See below…

So, Crash, huh?

What up with dat?

Well, do you want my theories or do you want to start with yours?

you start

Okay, theory the first – Lionsgate is then new Miramax.

ohhhh

They have mastered the art of the Oscar campaign.

Just as Miramax did with Shakespeare in Love, Lionsgate has done with Crash

Right, isn’t this Mirimax minues the Weinsteins?

I don’t know who the new Weinsteins are in this paradigm, but the results are the same.

I mean the Weinsteins are no longer at Mirimax

Right. Which makes this transition possible.

so perhaps lobbying isn’t as part of the corporate culture

How do you mean?

I mean, Weinsteins leave, no guard comes in. Weinsteins are way into intensive lobbyng campeing.
Maybe their replacements are not

takes money and time afterall

Right. And both the new Miramax and the Weinstein Co. are so new, they haven’t gotten their A game together yet.

Although New Miramax probably gets some credit for the Tsotsi win.

did they distribute it?

Yeah.

And The Weinstein co. had Transamerica

I think it was also the only foreign language nominee on Ebert & Roeper

Really?

Yes

Reviewed that is

Wow. Great film by the way.

You’ve seen it?

Yeah. Saw the director speak, too. Cool guy.

Nice

Theory the second on the success of Crash…

Please…

The power of the screener/The power of the actor…

?

Lionsgate sent out a shitload of screeners a month or two ago to remind people…
…how awesome Crash was.
All of these went to Academy members.

right since it was a summer release most likely

Many to actors, the largest voting block.

And, if what Sam Jackson says is true and other actors vote for their friends…

the “don’t forget us” move

There are more actors in Crash than just about any other nominee.

I have to give our mutual friend Justin credit for that last insight.

even though Brokeback is really more of an “Actor’s Film”

Yeah. This is one of those instances where the ensemble award at SAG is eerily prescient.

Sure. Hey, how do they define an ensemble? More han 3?

I’m not sure. I think Brokeback may have been up for the same award.

heh?

Best Ensemble.

yes but why? Does ensemble mean “# of actors above the title?”

Or “# of people you can recognize?”

Practically speaking, number of people you can recognize.

so its highly subjective

I mean, Hustle and Flow was also nominated, and there are no above the title names in that.

right

and Hustle and Flow has a single lead character

Right, but many strong supporting performances.

right

Finally, the suspicious cut to commercial before the acceptance speech for best picture was really over…

…made me think that Jack just made up the winner.

ghetto with a capital G

that’s some People’s Choice award sh*t

So what are your theories?

Well first it was not latent homophobia as many in my hometown are predicting

Yeah, that doesn’t really make any sense.

or else, Brokeback wouldn’t have swept every other award show in sight.

Right.

When is Oscar voting done?

The final polls closed on Feb. 28th.

So perhaps it was a late voting year, after many of the award shows had already run and voters were suffering from Brokeback burnout

That is one theory.

Did Brokeback peak early?

Perhaps. Also, Crash takes place in L.A. a backlash to productions leaving town at an alarming rate?
leaving the country even?

True dat.

Also easier to relate if it’s in LA.

right, hometown self-loathing, a perennial favorite

also, racism has simply been in the news more than gay issues (see Katrina)

Right.

I wonder now if they couldn’t have invited Kanye West to the proceedings just to drive the message home further.

George Bush hates black people, but you guys are ok.

then if Brokeback won, he could have said “George Bush Doesn’t care about Gay people”

Right.

Let’s talk about John Stewart as host…

Indeed.

Personally, I was tickled.

the audience, not so much.

and I kind of resent news articles claiming he’d bombed like it was some empirical fact.

Only minutes after the show was over.

now why did they say that?

Oh, quick side note, speaking of Katrina.

yes

Remember how there was a controversy about photos of white people “retrieving” goods and black people “looting”?

yes..

Look at this headline:
“Three 6 Mafia Steals Oscar Song Award”
I’m just saying.

“steals” as if someone else was a lock on that award before the Three 6 snuck in the building, uninvited, and ran off with it.

I’ll admit, I thought Dolly Parton was gonna win, but why don’t they just say “Three 6 Carjacks Oscar with Baby Inside”

and leaves it for dead at Freedomland.

So the new title of the Stewart article adds the word “review”

That makes more sense.

“Review: Stewart Disappoints As Oscar Host”

Hey the Three 6 were the only ones to thank both Jesus and Gil Cates which used to be De rigour at the Oscars

And George Clooney!

so they were doin’ it old school

yes, 30 years ago, everyone was thanking George Clooney when they won

They will be.

of course

So did Stewart “dissapoint?”

I thought Stewart was hilarious, and so did the folks I was watching with, but the audience didn’t seem sure they should be laughing or not.

Yes, I wasn’t quite sure why

I got the sense that Hollywood folks liked the Daily Show.

too new york? Which is what they said about Letterman the year he hosted

It’s funny, Stewart was on Larry King last week talking about that.

hmmm

He said if you watch it now, Letterman actually rocked the house.

I didn’t see that show

The whole Uma/Oprah thing had a punchline that killed.

killed good, killed bad?

Killed good. But people only remember the first part of that bit, which didn’t.

what year was that?

1995

Speaking of which, could there have been a more useless time filler than montage-o-rama?

I’m telling you, that was the “Remember movies? Well they’ve been around awhile”

“Hey, remember when movies didn’t suck?” “That was great!”

As if to say “Kids are growing up without any knowledge of “To Have and To Have Not” what a crime!

And really, with netflix, and TCM aren’t times just fine for classic movies?

oh and 80 million AFI specials?

Exactly. Old films will benefit from the long tail.

indeed

But the other message of the Oscars was go to theaters, not netflix.

Yes, as evidenced by the Sid Ganis speech, there is panic in the land about people not going to the movies

But what they really need is a montage about a time when going to the movies didn’t suck.

yes, how about a montage tribute to the actual starting time of a movie?

Or a montage to the properly framed screen and the theater that doesn’t resemble an airport lounge?

And to people shutting the fuck up during the movie?

and to the cell phone not ringing at least twice?

So was the 80’s the last time it was fun to go to the movies? And does that make us old farts?

oy, jeez, really?

I only started noticing about 5 years ago that going to the movies at a regular old multiplex is a curiously joyless experience.

What’s the last truly great moviegoing experience you can remember?

jeez, March of the Penguins, Michigan Theater, Ann Arbor, last summer

I have to go back to seeing a sneak of Dogma at Hopkins.

really, that long? Nothing at the Alamo during SXSW?

Actually, Red vs. Blue at the Alamo was kind of awesome. Although that wasn’t technically a movie.

right

Back to the Oscars for a sec

Best actress: Is it me or are Best Actress award winners getting younger and younger?

It seems to me that, since Paltrow won for Shakespeare in Love that the Best Actress awards has become kind of like the “Prom Queen” award

I think you’re right.

If you go back ten years, it’s Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange and Frances McDormand

where you not only win for a performance but for embodying all that is good about young womanhood

If you go back five it’s Hilary Swank and Nicole Kidman and Halle Berry.

I agree. Ageism has crept into the Best Actress category.

Then again, it crept into available roles long before that.

right. You member Jessica Tandy won the award in her 70s

Here’s another montage: “Remember when we weren’t afraid of old people?”

lol

So are you disappointed that Philip Seymour Hoffman didn’t bark his acceptance speech?

eh what?

Apparently, PSH made a bet in college that whichever of his roommates ever won an Oscar would have to bark their acceptance speech until dragged off the stage.

I didn’t know that

I think I would have been disappointed if he did bark the speech.

Speaking of disappointing speeches, what’s with Robert Altman’s cloying “Hollywood is A-Ok” speech?

Does that sentiment make any less sense than his sand castle analogy?

I agree that it would have been more satisfying for him to say, “You know what? Fuck you guys!”

sure, hes 81. He’s had a good run

Exactly. Incidentally, if they’re really dissatisfied with Stewart as a host, I say next year they go with Clooney.

Jeez, he pratically hosted this year

I know. “Everybody Loves Clooney”

He gives good speech.

If I won an Oscar, I might want him to give my speech.

sure but do you need to present if you are the shoe in nominee?

Just seems like overkill

He wasn’t a shoe in. the odds favored giamatti

really?

Yeah. blowback for Sideways.

I suppose. Okay, same question then for Witherspoon

What did she present?

eh, something before the best actress was announced

I suppose you could argue that she was the biggest star nominated, and that her presenting had more to do with that, but I see your point.

indeed. So Dave, final thoughts?

Can we weep a little now for Memoirs of a Geisha winning 3 awards, including cinematography?

Yeah, what up with dat?
Frankly, it probably deserved those cosmetic awards, but it still irks me that a movie with a rep worse than The Ringer got those kind of kudos.

someone was doing a lot of apologizing.

or stuck on the idea that an awarded movie must have a lot of period costumes.

Your final thoughts?

next year’s host: Dave Chappelle

Now there’s a guy who’ll say, “You know what? Fuck you guys!”

but say it very nicely

While smoking.

lol. Your final thoughts?

I think next year, you’re going to see the return of the big-ass blockbuster best picture.

Much the same way Titanic followed English Patient

ahhh the Titanic effect?
took the words right out of my mouth

the only question is, what will it be?

hmmm……
I think it’ll be Snakes on a Plane.

on title alone

no doubt.

See ya later.

See ya in Austin.

Sweet!

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