Access in the Air:
You may have heard that, beginning next year, several airlines, including United, Jet Blue and Virgin America, will begin rolling out internet access in the air. Which is a neat development for the most part, even though it will inevitably lead to more "why didn’t answer my email over Dubuque?" always-at-work expectations and a run on laptop batteries since, I can almost promise you, airlines will not be including more power ports with this service (more power = more electricity = more fuel which is butt expensive right now.)
Will it cost money? Probably. But before too long, a second armrest will cost you money so may as well man up about it now. You’ve probably also heard that we now fly in about as much luxury as our luggage.
I am not unreasonable in this respect. I do not demand a foot massage as a standard perk on a $200 ticket. But we are way way overdue in establishing certain basic standards of comfort for coach class travelers. Up until very recently, airline passenger advocacy has focused almost exclusively on prices and scheduling. The 11 points on the proposed Passenger’s Bill of Rights includes almost no mention of inflight comfort except regarding delays and travelers with disabilities.
It is time for Point #12, which I’m calling the Provide what you Promise Provision. Simple, basic and I believe, irrefutable.
12. Every airline flight guarantees that the passengers seat, service unit and onboard facilities including lavatories and inflight entertainment are in proper working order.
Which only means that the price of a airline ticket includes a seat that reclines, a seat cushion that doesn’t stab you in the butt, headset jack that functions, a toilet that flushes and inflight entertainment with picture and sound.
It is a travesty that this needs to be spelled out, as I needed to clarify that I am entitled to a fork and napkin when dining out. But that seems to be what it has come to. Hooray to JetBlue and Virgin America for making humane treatment of passengers part of their brand and corporate initiative. For the rest of you, if can’t live up to a few basic expectations of your business, then I suggest you find a new one.